Dear Mental Illness

first of all, why?

Why do you make it so I can’t get out of bed and enjoy going to concerts with my friends? Why do you make it so I have to drink to silence the voices that tell me I am worth nothing? Why do you make me feel like a prisoner in my own head?

Second, when is it going to stop?

When are you going to stop letting people say that it’s “all in my head” and when are you going to stop taking the lives of individuals from their loved ones? When are you going to stop plaguing me with my mistakes that fill up my mind when I’m trying to sleep and I’m fighting for air? When are you going to stop me from wanting to feel the blade across my skin because physical pain is better than the pain in my mind?

Third, you’re wrong.

It took me a while to realize this but you are wrong. I am not alone and I am not unloved. I’m here because someone needs to walk the dog because she loves adventures with me and I’m here because someone needs to be push my brother on the swing so he can feel like he is flying. I am here because my mother needs me and my sister needs someone to give her books to read so she can go to other universes when this one makes her tired. Β I am here because I matter and I will not be silenced. You have taken years away from me and you have made me feel like I don’t matter and no one would miss me if I’m gone. And while sometimes I do still believe that, I know for a fact you are wrong.

I will not let the way I think my illness should be silence me any longer. I’m taking a stand and I am getting my voice heard so dear mental illness,

I’m ending the stigma.

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