I’ve been trying to figure out the words to say for what I’m about to post. I made a video but I’m too much of a crying mess in it to really understand it so I’m just going to let my thoughts out here and hope I make even a little bit of sense.
June 2016 was a month that changed my life forever. It was then that I learned my grandmother, a woman who has not only had a hand in raising me but has loved me unconditionally, was diagnosed with what at the time I thought was breast cancer. Now, and this is going to sound terrible, but I didn’t really know how to react. I think I was more optimistic than maybe was realistic but I told myself they found it early and they would get it all and she would be fine. After all, my grandma is one of the strongest women I’ve ever met, no way is cancer going to stop her. However recently I’ve been told the news wasn’t good. The results came back and my grandma has stage 4 terminal cancer. I shut down. I didn’t respond while everyone around me cried, while everyone let it sink in, all I wanted to do was break something. A dish, a window, a mirror, I didn’t care. I needed to break something because I was so angry. The doctors were supposed to catch it, they were supposed to make sure my grandma was okay.
Looking back on it, I realize it isn’t the faults of the doctors but in a moment like that, does logic really play a role in anything? Not really. My grandma has stage 4 terminal cancer, I still can’t believe it. I feel so helpless because what can I do? How am I going to survive without my grandma? My lifeline? I’ve been terrible, believe me, I can be nasty but my grandma has never left me, ever. She has always stood by my side and has helped me through more than anyone, including her, could ever know. My grandma goes above and beyond for those she cares about and she loves with her whole heart. I sometimes think she has more than one heart somehow because how could one heart hold so much love? So what it boils down to is; I need your help. I need the kindness that I know everyone is capable of.
Please share the GoFundMe link for Kathy’s Medical Fund. If you can’t donate, please share it anyways. Maybe somehow, someone out there will be able to donate, even if it’s just $5.00. Every little bit helps.